This won’t be a long blogpost, I think I said what I wanted to say about this stage of my illness before Christmas, but there are a few updates to share.

As many of you know, after a week of wonderful celebrations for both my and Brian’s birthdays in mid-December, I had my 23rd round of chemotherapy. That week I came down with another nasty cough/cold and sadly things deteriorated quite fast from there. The pain got to an unmanageable level, and my bloated and failing liver were causing me to throw up pretty much everything I ate. It made for a tough Christmas. Whilst it was lovely being with family and Oscar had a great time, I really did feel very ill and of course, on top, had the mental challenge of accepting that this was my last Christmas.

Some further tweaks to meds have helped my symptoms a little, and the past few days I’ve kept a bit more food down, but I am extremely weak and not sleeping much. I also have ascites (abdominal fluid build-up) which is very uncomfortable. I had a scan on 2nd January, and was fairly sure it would show further liver progression. I was correct. Sadly the Avastin we have been paying £1650 every fortnight for, hasn’t helped with the liver. So that is the end of oncology treatment for me. I’ve been ‘discharged’ by my oncologist as there is nothing more he can do, and passed to my (wonderful) palliative care team for symptom management, as its now all about making me as comfortable as possible in my remaining weeks. Today I was admitted to St Joseph’s hospice in Hackney. Hopefully they can help me get a little more comfortable, and give both Brian and I some respite. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but I am hoping not too long. This is planned as a respite stay, not end of life care.

I know many of you would like to visit, but I am here to rest and so I am only having my immediate family in for now, I’m just too tired for lots of visits I’m afraid. Please also forgive me for not replying to messages at the moment, I am dealing with a lot physically and emotionally.

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On a separate and far more positive note, my book, ‘A happy, healthy you’, is close to completion and I am now taking pre-orders! Please fill in the form here and you will receive payment and delivery information. It’s been a huge undertaking but I am so proud that it is becoming a reality. A combination of my story, healthy living and nutritional advice, and 50 healthy, delicious whole food recipes, I hope it will provide information and advice for living your best life!